Spanking Needs - Spanking Therapy - Adult Cooperative Discipline and Domestic Discipline Discussion and Support
About Us    Definitions    How To Guides    True Stories    News    Spanking Finder    Forums    Contact

True Stories from our Members

Have a story of spanking needs to tell? E-Mail us and we'll add it!

As a kid I felt like something was building up inside me and I needed it to be released. (This was long before I knew what sex was all about). I'd
actually provoke my dad until he'd give me a "licking." It hurt and I cried a lot but later on I'd do it again.

I still do it now. I have a sexual interest in it also but when I'm getting a whipping sex is the furthest thing from my mind. The last time was only about 8 weeks ago and I couldn't wait to get away from the guy that was beating me. It was rather harsh but real. Every time I take a whipping I think to myself that it's the last time.  Then I feel the need to go and do it again.

I don't know if this is exactly the same feeling as what you're describing. If we're sort of on the same page let me know. I'd love to chat some more.


About once every month or so I would intentionally do something to cause my mom to spank me. I didn't understand why I did it, but I knew when I was doing it. I completely hated the spankings, which she gave with a belt... but after the pain went away I felt like I had been completely 'cleaned' off all sin and guilt and could feel normal again


I was raised from age 13 through college by a strict step dad and grandpa who believed in embarrassing bare bottom spankings for me and my two step brothers and step sister. I was always very shy and never wanted to be spanked at that time - but always loved hearing my step brothers or sister get it.

Later I still wanted an authority figure dad or grandpa to take charge now and then when I needed it - - - and have mentored and spanked a number of younger guys.


Erikson's second and third stages of development deal with the conflict between shame or humiliation and becoming autonomous and independent. He says we internalize both our desire to be free, as well as society's rules. Thus, what you describe is someone basically saying I have done things wrong (whether omission. commission, acts, thoughts, feelings anything that you have internalized as disapproved by society). And therefore punishment seems appropriate. Oddly enough, it may also be mixed with a desire to control what was in childhood not controlled. In fact, it may be that things in childhood were notably out of control and wild. Finally, for many kids (and adults) any attention is better than no attention, and so a life-long desire for attention may be focused on spanking, because nothing gets everyone's attention like someone being spanked. One way to test this area would be to see how the desire is affected by imagining different audiences watching the spanking, or different people doing the spanking. Experiment and see the results for better understanding.

RM - (Psychology Teacher)

I've known many boys who, like you, use the word "need." The youngest boy to explain his feelings to me in this area was 15 and they have been of all ages and all cultures worldwide. Almost all have said they do not like it when the spanking is taking place and many speak of their feelings of fear and even horror when Dad brings out the paddle but all have shared that common feeling of relief and satisfaction when the spanking is over and they are in dad's arms. I hope you don't think you are that unusual.


I am a STR8 guy in my 40's that needs frequent OTK & other forms of spankings.
I have given this much thought and have sought counseling but M-M Spankings [while much more common than I would have ever thought possible 18 mo. ago] are not well known about in our society.
Since about 5th grade I knew that I was never going to get the fathering from my bio. dad that I so desperately needed. He whipped me very frequently with his belt, and too hard that I wore bruises to school often. What I needed, he didn't seem to be capable of giving me. He was 37 when I was born. I needed physical hugs, emotional warmth, and misbehaviors to be forgiven and the actions/behaviors forgotten, not constantly being criticized. My father held many grudges towards his family and people in the community so he treated me in that respect, no differently than others.

I'm a professional, Christian male and I had desired what I just described all of my life. [I am a father myself and made sure that I met my son's emotional needs the best that I could, and listened to what he needed. He is now grown.] I, just over a year ago received my first spanking from a 'dad'. I live in a rural area and receiving takes a lot of contacts and I often have to travel to receive. Optimally, with a caring 'dad', I need spanking like every 7-10 days, though more realistically I probably receive every 6-7 weeks. The age of the dad doesn't matter as I have needed one as soon as a few hours after receiving one. I have a couple of 'dads' that I travel to, and spend long weekends and receive several scolding, spankings, hugs and the acceptance that I have sought for my whole life. Once I am otk and into the spanking, I sometimes have thoughts like, "What in the world am I doing?"; "This really hurts!"; "If I had received this as a kid, would I maybe not need it now?" I look forward to these encounters and recently identified that there is an erotic element inside but I don't want any sexual interchange during a spanking from the spanker. I wear a jock until I am comfortable w/ the dad.


While I don't share the same need, I understand and stand with you. I am both a therapeutic counselor (psychology) and a long time spanking top. I regularly discipline a number of "boys" and counsel males age 16 and upward. This apparent "need" is regularly verbalized to me. I find it completely within the bounds of the masculine drive that is often dismissed in modern societal thinking, but which is very real and part of all males.


I'm a nice, happy, productive member of society who has no guilt feelings that I'm aware of. Yet I feel a powerful need to be spanked, even though spanking hurts and is unpleasant and (depending on the scenario) sometimes very scary. But then afterwards I feel blissful for about a week or two, before the need to be spanked again begins building. For me there's a sexual connection in that *thinking* about spanking is arousing, but actually *being* spanked is not arousing at all -- in fact just the opposite. I was not spanked much or abused as a child... I assume the need to be spanked is just something that occurs naturally in some people, though I don't really know for sure.


I, too, have felt the NEED for a spanking. I do NOT 'want' to be spanked; nor do I 'like' to be spanked, nor do I 'enjoy' being spanked, but I NEED to be spanked.

Spanked on my bare ass/bottom; over the knee, and with a hairbrush or strap until my butt cheeks are dark red, even with a welt or bruise.

The sting/pain must be real for me to feel a fulfillment.

I am not able to identify with the guys in the spanking groups/organizations who like to be spanked, want to be spanked, enjoy being spanked, or for whom it is erotic or sexual or who use it as a foreplay for sex.

I do not seek cruelty, abuse, or mistreatment, but just an authentic discipline administered by a caring man to correct my behavior for things I have actually done. I do not relate to phony/artificial role-play.

The man who spanks me is not my daddy or my master or any other incorrect term; he is simply a man who knows I deserve the spanking and has the strength to administer it.

For years my psyche 'ached' without able to achieve any relief. Spanking myself does not work. Other guys often ruined the experience for me by falling into their own erotic-sexual-role-play at some point during the spanking, or attempted to do something sexual.

I have found that most guys will not participate with all the 'strings' that I impose on the event. They feel I am being selfish wanting to do only my exact 'script' or 'scene' (as they view it) with their own needs unmet.

I have found that I have felt some measure of relief in-between getting spanked by self-imposing two things in my life;

1. I have kept my body shaved hairless and de-pubed for some years now. For whatever reason the way this looks and feels fulfils a need to be 'punished' or to be in submission to other males who have body/crotch hair.

2. I try not to masturbate at all, as befits a hairless 'boy' (I am in my 50's body-wise but a 'boy' in my headspace). When I do masturbate it is after struggling not to, then I feel guilty, then I wish a man were around to spank me for doing it. I know that if lived with a man who would enforce chastity on me I would be happier. I think it is great and wonderful for these men to masturbate, but for me it is wrong since i do not have pubes.

The NEED I have to be spanked may be similar to yours since it is psychological, not physical. We hate hate the physical pain when it is occurring, but psychologically before and after we feel therapeutically healed of some negativity. I guess the spanking does something to our brain the same way that electric-shock therapy does.


I'm a couple of months shy of 54, and I still like to think of myself as the consummate naughty boy. I'm a classic spanking submissive through and through. Maybe my mother picked up on that when I was young, and even in those instances when she and I both knew I deserved to be put over her knee, she just couldn't bring herself to spank me. Not even when I was 14, and she found a spanking paperback I'd forgotten in the bathroom. To my face, she asked me if I felt I'd "missed out by never getting a bare bottom spanking." As I melted in a puddle of shame, I was told to "stop being silly." I'd already begun the habit of spanking myself by that point, often using the mirrors in my parents' bedroom to let me admire the sight of my delightfully smackable backside as I paddled and/or strapped it with whatever I could find that stung. Bare hand on bare bum was useless. I wanted my bottom to suffer.

I would sometimes get a clean washcloth out of the closet and bite down on it as I inflicted as much pain as possible on my buttocks and upper thighs. The sting had an amazing hold on me - like a narcotic. As the years went by, I'd be spanking myself, think that I was done, pull up my pants - and then realize that I still wanted more. So, pants down once again, back across the padded footstool or the arm of the sofa or the pillows piled up on the bed, and more spanks across my stinging hot, rosy red bum. Of course, the icing on this very wicked cake of naughty self-indulgence was to use the same arrangement of mirrors to enhance my arousal, et cetera.

My wife of ten years was the first person to ever give me an over-the-knee, bare bottom spanking. I'm not counting my 10-year-old classmate with whom I took turns one juvenile afternoon making traditional pants-down use of a ping-pong paddle in his basement. I had to wait until I was 30 before I finally found facedown accommodation across a womanly knee. We had a lot of fun with my bottom, but I ultimately found myself longing for harder paddlings than she was comfortable giving me. Even though nothing ever happened with another woman (except for the time when I secretly bared my bum for a 'liberated' female friend of ours; she looked, but she wouldn't spank) beyond an exchange of letters, it still spoke to what I saw as a limitation of my marriage. After thirteen years together, my wife said goodbye. I would've preferred that we at least attempt to reconcile, but she simply wasn't interested.

And so began my experiences with professional female dominants (and the one time I was ever spanked by a man, I being desperate and he being cheap). I spent $2000.00 on one of them within just a couple of months. We even said we loved each other on the phone. But when the bank finally pulled the plug on my credit card and all the Monopoly money stopped pouring out of the ATM, the very special rapport between this Sharon Stone double and me no longer existed. Everything's great when you can pay; otherwise, forget it.

The past four or five years, I've been exclusively visiting a self-described 'maternal disciplinarian.' All she's ever done is pull down my pants and spank my bare bottom across her lap on either her couch or her bed. But the three or four spankings a year have been almost uniformly sensational. All of those years of sort of ad-libbing my way through my lust for spanking, and at long last, I'd connected with the ideal partner for my celebration of naughtiness.

Unfortunately, our domestic routines no longer mesh. I haven't been spanked since last December. An old-fashioned, over-the-knee, bare bottom spanking introduces me to my truest sense of self. My spanking mother's lap is my place of worship. I can't help feeling chronically incomplete when I go this long without a bottom warming. Paddling myself gives me something of the physical experience, but that's all. And yes, I've got the Internet and different opportunities to write about spanking, but there's no substitute for the real thing. There just isn't.


When I was a teen my parents had quit spanking me and I not on felt the need for a spanking but did not have the nerve to ask. Fortunately a female friend of mine was still spanked by her mother. Bonnie and I got in trouble together one evening and her mother was very upset. I attempted to calm her down but to no avail. Bonnie's mother finally told me that if I was going to hang around their house that I would have to obey their rules or be disciplined the same way she disciplined her kids. I agreed to her rules and both Bonnie and I were spanked that day. After that date I received several spankings from her for misbehavior. She was a strict but loving adult that helped shape my life.


I am so glad I came across your web site. You have explained everything I have felt in my need to be spanked. From childhood to this day. The emotional need is so real... Yes, do to embarrassment I never vocalized my spanking need to my parents. So my need never was filled. Now I am grown and married. I did share my spanking desire with him. But most are in fun. Well as you said, the need for real therapy spanking are very few and far between. Also short lived, not given long enough, for the emotional release I so long for. I have attempted to finding a women who would fill this need, but not in a sexual way. But always backed away from that. Feeling af if I was doing something wrong in looking beyond my own front door. It can be a dangerous thing to venture out to people you know nothing about. I am Christian as well, and do not wish to fulfill any sexual agenda's from another party. My spanking need is not a fetish nor a sexual one at all. So I just go on with my need unfulfilled. But now that I have found this website, perhaps if the love of my life reads it he will finally understand what I am wanting from my need for spanking in my life. But anyway that's my story in a nutshell.


My Aunt Died. I was so sad and after returning home from the funeral I was a mess. I went straight to my Mistress' Home and I knew that she would know what I needed. Even without telling her. She always knows these things even before I do. She gently put me over her knee and spanked me hard. When I broke...I cried for about an hour. It was just what I needed. She held me and I don't think I have ever felt so loved after that.


I never really had parents who cared about where i was or what i was doing until my freshman year of high school. A senior who i had gotten close to caught me skipping and doing things i should not have been doing so one day he asked me if i would go home with him which i did and he told me how i had messed up and how upset he was. He laid me over his bed took off his belt and began to spank me. However i did squirm and fight a lot after that i felt much better like i was loved and cared for. He is still my daddy and when i mess up and i get spanked it makes me feel like a little child again and makes me feel better. Its like it fills and emotional need as well and makes me feel like no matter what he loves me and cares for me. I don't think ill ever not need my daddy he helps me so much and i thank god for him.


My name is Britney and I am 26 years old. I did not realize that I enjoyed being spanked until my wedding night. My new husband playfully took me over his knee and spanked me. I discovered that I enjoyed it and wanted more. That was two years ago and my husband regularly spanks me now. Sometimes he spanks me with his hand and sometimes with a small wooden paddle. Being spanked has revolutionized my passion. When my husband spanks me, it makes me feel so sexy.

Spanking have impacted my life in a good way during childhood. Now, as an adult I continue to love being spanked for correction so that i can continue to behave like an adult. Ever since childhood I was always spanked with a small strap or a belt, and I can tell you I didn't like it or enjoy it. I know that because they were all discipline or punishment spankings, and it was not meant for fun or foreplay. But ever since childhood I've always wanted to experience different implements as such as the paddle.

But as a child I was always afraid of the paddle. Especially if it was a big thick heavy one. But I don't mind thin small lightweight paddles but big ones I try to run away Now, in school I was spanked with a small lightweight ping pong paddle, and it wasn't really all that bad. I only experienced receiving one lick with it on my bottom, and honestly I really liked it!

And from then on that made me realize that I wanted to experience other different kinds and sizes of paddles. Now being paddled at home that never happened. I've always wished that it did though. Especially by my grandmother. Oh, I've always thought and known her and a straighter paddler. Because, I saw her owning 3 lightweight paddles on the top of her closet in her house that she was living in when I was born.

I was like, "Wow, those 3 paddles looked earie and scary to me. I've always said to myself, "Whenever I'm around grandma I'd better be on my best behavior. Or, I'll be getting the paddle or the small strap from her." But from what I've heard from a couple of my male cousins told me and another one of my male cousins saying that one day they acted up at her house, and she pulled out all of her spanking paddles, and she paddled them both once with 3 light swats on their buttocks, and they told another one of our male cousins that it didn't even hurt. She didn't hurt us at all.

And her come one year as I once lived with her when I was at the age of 13 or 14 she still owned one of those small thin lightweight paddles. Was still earie-lookng to So, I still made sure at the age of 13 and 14 to be on my best behavior with her. Or else that I would be probably experience getting the paddle by her very regularly. But I honestly nowadays I honestly don't think that she would have caused me any pain as a kid. She might have paddled me with more licks or swats but it probably wouldn't have been all that bad. I probably could have taken it.

My male cousin that I was also living at the time tried explaining to me and telling me that, "If she had ever paddled me it wouldn't have hurt me." "Or, she wouldn't have paddled me in a sense of hurting me." I honestly think that what my male cousin was trying to tell me that she might paddled me very gently in form or of a way of me liking the spanking or paddling. I also honestly think that he wanted to experience or feel the paddle as well by her. But he also knew that paddles do hurt, and I also always knew that as well. But nowadays as an adult I always fantasize of her being my partner of spanking me with the paddle. I really truly want to feel the paddle.

Well, this my story of spanking, and how it has impacted my life.

In Regards,


Copyright 2005 - 2018 MPA for - Spanking Needs is the original Spanking Therapy information website.