True Stories from our
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As a kid I felt like something was
building up inside me and I needed it to be released. (This was
long before I knew what sex was all about). I'd
actually provoke my dad until he'd give me a "licking." It hurt
and I cried a lot but later on I'd do it again.
I still do it now. I have a sexual interest in it also but when
I'm getting a whipping sex is the furthest thing from my mind.
The last time was only about 8 weeks ago and I couldn't wait to
get away from the guy that was beating me. It was rather harsh
but real. Every time I take a whipping I think to myself that
it's the last time. Then I feel the need to go and do it
I don't know if this is exactly the same feeling as what you're
describing. If we're sort of on the same page let me know. I'd
love to chat some more.
About once every month or so I would
intentionally do something to cause my mom to spank me. I didn't
understand why I did it, but I knew when I was doing it. I
completely hated the spankings, which she gave with a belt...
but after the pain went away I felt like I had been completely
'cleaned' off all sin and guilt and could feel normal again
I was raised from age 13 through college
by a strict step dad and grandpa who believed in embarrassing
bare bottom spankings for me and my two step brothers and step
sister. I was always very shy and never wanted to be spanked at
that time - but always loved hearing my step brothers or sister
Later I still wanted an authority figure dad or grandpa to take
charge now and then when I needed it - - - and have mentored and
spanked a number of younger guys.
Erikson's second and third stages of
development deal with the conflict between shame or humiliation
and becoming autonomous and independent. He says we internalize
both our desire to be free, as well as society's rules. Thus,
what you describe is someone basically saying I have done things
wrong (whether omission. commission, acts, thoughts, feelings
anything that you have internalized as disapproved by society).
And therefore punishment seems appropriate. Oddly enough, it may
also be mixed with a desire to control what was in childhood not
controlled. In fact, it may be that things in childhood were
notably out of control and wild. Finally, for many kids (and
adults) any attention is better than no attention, and so a
life-long desire for attention may be focused on spanking,
because nothing gets everyone's attention like someone being
spanked. One way to test this area would be to see how the
desire is affected by imagining different audiences watching the
spanking, or different people doing the spanking. Experiment and
see the results for better understanding.
RM - (Psychology Teacher)
I've known many boys who, like you, use the word "need." The
youngest boy to explain his feelings to me in this area was 15
and they have been of all ages and all cultures worldwide.
Almost all have said they do not like it when the spanking is
taking place and many speak of their feelings of fear and even
horror when Dad brings out the paddle but all have shared that
common feeling of relief and satisfaction when the spanking is
over and they are in dad's arms. I hope you don't think you are
I am a STR8 guy in my 40's that needs frequent OTK & other forms
I have given this much thought and have sought counseling but
M-M Spankings [while much more common than I would have ever
thought possible 18 mo. ago] are not well known about in our
Since about 5th grade I knew that I was never going to get the
fathering from my bio. dad that I so desperately needed. He
whipped me very frequently with his belt, and too hard that I
wore bruises to school often. What I needed, he didn't seem to
be capable of giving me. He was 37 when I was born. I needed
physical hugs, emotional warmth, and misbehaviors to be forgiven
and the actions/behaviors forgotten, not constantly being
criticized. My father held many grudges towards his family and
people in the community so he treated me in that respect, no
differently than others.
I'm a professional, Christian male and I had desired what I just
described all of my life. [I am a father myself and made sure
that I met my son's emotional needs the best that I could, and
listened to what he needed. He is now grown.] I, just over a
year ago received my first spanking from a 'dad'. I live in a
rural area and receiving takes a lot of contacts and I often
have to travel to receive. Optimally, with a caring 'dad', I
need spanking like every 7-10 days, though more realistically I
probably receive every 6-7 weeks. The age of the dad doesn't
matter as I have needed one as soon as a few hours after
receiving one. I have a couple of 'dads' that I travel to, and
spend long weekends and receive several scolding, spankings,
hugs and the acceptance that I have sought for my whole life.
Once I am otk and into the spanking, I sometimes have thoughts
like, "What in the world am I doing?"; "This really hurts!"; "If
I had received this as a kid, would I maybe not need it now?" I
look forward to these encounters and recently identified that
there is an erotic element inside but I don't want any sexual
interchange during a spanking from the spanker. I wear a jock
until I am comfortable w/ the dad.
While I don't share the same need, I understand and stand with
you. I am both a therapeutic counselor (psychology) and a long
time spanking top. I regularly discipline a number of "boys" and
counsel males age 16 and upward. This apparent "need" is
regularly verbalized to me. I find it completely within the
bounds of the masculine drive that is often dismissed in modern
societal thinking, but which is very real and part of all males.
I'm a nice, happy, productive member of society who has no guilt
feelings that I'm aware of. Yet I feel a powerful need to be
spanked, even though spanking hurts and is unpleasant and
(depending on the scenario) sometimes very scary. But then
afterwards I feel blissful for about a week or two, before the
need to be spanked again begins building. For me there's a
sexual connection in that *thinking* about spanking is arousing,
but actually *being* spanked is not arousing at all -- in fact
just the opposite. I was not spanked much or abused as a
child... I assume the need to be spanked is just something that
occurs naturally in some people, though I don't really know for
I, too, have felt the NEED for a spanking. I do NOT 'want' to be
spanked; nor do I 'like' to be spanked, nor do I 'enjoy' being
spanked, but I NEED to be spanked.
Spanked on my bare ass/bottom; over the knee, and with a
hairbrush or strap until my butt cheeks are dark red, even with
a welt or bruise.
The sting/pain must be real for me to feel a fulfillment.
I am not able to identify with the guys in the spanking
groups/organizations who like to be spanked, want to be spanked,
enjoy being spanked, or for whom it is erotic or sexual or who
use it as a foreplay for sex.
I do not seek cruelty, abuse, or mistreatment, but just an
authentic discipline administered by a caring man to correct my
behavior for things I have actually done. I do not relate to
The man who spanks me is not my daddy or my master or any other
incorrect term; he is simply a man who knows I deserve the
spanking and has the strength to administer it.
For years my psyche 'ached' without able to achieve any relief.
Spanking myself does not work. Other guys often ruined the
experience for me by falling into their own
erotic-sexual-role-play at some point during the spanking, or
attempted to do something sexual.
I have found that most guys will not participate with all the
'strings' that I impose on the event. They feel I am being
selfish wanting to do only my exact 'script' or 'scene' (as they
view it) with their own needs unmet.
I have found that I have felt some measure of relief in-between
getting spanked by self-imposing two things in my life;
1. I have kept my body shaved hairless and de-pubed for some
years now. For whatever reason the way this looks and feels
fulfils a need to be 'punished' or to be in submission to other
males who have body/crotch hair.
2. I try not to masturbate at all, as befits a hairless 'boy' (I
am in my 50's body-wise but a 'boy' in my headspace). When I do
masturbate it is after struggling not to, then I feel guilty,
then I wish a man were around to spank me for doing it. I know
that if lived with a man who would enforce chastity on me I
would be happier. I think it is great and wonderful for these
men to masturbate, but for me it is wrong since i do not have
The NEED I have to be spanked may be similar to yours since it
is psychological, not physical. We hate hate the physical pain
when it is occurring, but psychologically before and after we
feel therapeutically healed of some negativity. I guess the
spanking does something to our brain the same way that
electric-shock therapy does.
I'm a couple of months shy of 54, and I still like to think of
myself as the consummate naughty boy. I'm a classic spanking
submissive through and through. Maybe my mother picked up on
that when I was young, and even in those instances when she and
I both knew I deserved to be put over her knee, she just
couldn't bring herself to spank me. Not even when I was 14, and
she found a spanking paperback I'd forgotten in the bathroom. To
my face, she asked me if I felt I'd "missed out by never getting
a bare bottom spanking." As I melted in a puddle of shame, I was
told to "stop being silly." I'd already begun the habit of
spanking myself by that point, often using the mirrors in my
parents' bedroom to let me admire the sight of my delightfully
smackable backside as I paddled and/or strapped it with whatever
I could find that stung. Bare hand on bare bum was useless. I
wanted my bottom to suffer.
I would sometimes get a clean washcloth out of the closet and
bite down on it as I inflicted as much pain as possible on my
buttocks and upper thighs. The sting had an amazing hold on me -
like a narcotic. As the years went by, I'd be spanking myself,
think that I was done, pull up my pants - and then realize that
I still wanted more. So, pants down once again, back across the
padded footstool or the arm of the sofa or the pillows piled up
on the bed, and more spanks across my stinging hot, rosy red
bum. Of course, the icing on this very wicked cake of naughty
self-indulgence was to use the same arrangement of mirrors to
enhance my arousal, et cetera.
My wife of ten years was the first person to ever give me an
over-the-knee, bare bottom spanking. I'm not counting my
10-year-old classmate with whom I took turns one juvenile
afternoon making traditional pants-down use of a ping-pong
paddle in his basement. I had to wait until I was 30 before I
finally found facedown accommodation across a womanly knee. We
had a lot of fun with my bottom, but I ultimately found myself
longing for harder paddlings than she was comfortable giving me.
Even though nothing ever happened with another woman (except for
the time when I secretly bared my bum for a 'liberated' female
friend of ours; she looked, but she wouldn't spank) beyond an
exchange of letters, it still spoke to what I saw as a
limitation of my marriage. After thirteen years together, my
wife said goodbye. I would've preferred that we at least attempt
to reconcile, but she simply wasn't interested.
And so began my experiences with professional female dominants
(and the one time I was ever spanked by a man, I being desperate
and he being cheap). I spent $2000.00 on one of them within just
a couple of months. We even said we loved each other on the
phone. But when the bank finally pulled the plug on my credit
card and all the Monopoly money stopped pouring out of the ATM,
the very special rapport between this Sharon Stone double and me
no longer existed. Everything's great when you can pay;
otherwise, forget it.
The past four or five years, I've been exclusively visiting a
self-described 'maternal disciplinarian.' All she's ever done is
pull down my pants and spank my bare bottom across her lap on
either her couch or her bed. But the three or four spankings a
year have been almost uniformly sensational. All of those years
of sort of ad-libbing my way through my lust for spanking, and
at long last, I'd connected with the ideal partner for my
celebration of naughtiness.
Unfortunately, our domestic routines no longer mesh. I haven't
been spanked since last December. An old-fashioned,
over-the-knee, bare bottom spanking introduces me to my truest
sense of self. My spanking mother's lap is my place of worship.
I can't help feeling chronically incomplete when I go this long
without a bottom warming. Paddling myself gives me something of
the physical experience, but that's all. And yes, I've got the
Internet and different opportunities to write about spanking,
but there's no substitute for the real thing. There just isn't.
When I was a teen my parents had quit
spanking me and I not on felt the need for a spanking but did
not have the nerve to ask. Fortunately a female friend of mine
was still spanked by her mother. Bonnie and I got in trouble
together one evening and her mother was very upset. I attempted
to calm her down but to no avail. Bonnie's mother finally told
me that if I was going to hang around their house that I would
have to obey their rules or be disciplined the same way she
disciplined her kids. I agreed to her rules and both Bonnie and
I were spanked that day. After that date I received several
spankings from her for misbehavior. She was a strict but loving
adult that helped shape my life.
I am so glad I came across your web site. You have explained
everything I have felt in my need to be spanked. From childhood
to this day. The emotional need is so real... Yes, do to
embarrassment I never vocalized my spanking need to my parents.
So my need never was filled. Now I am grown and married. I did
share my spanking desire with him. But most are in fun. Well as
you said, the need for real therapy spanking are very few and
far between. Also short lived, not given long enough, for the
emotional release I so long for. I have attempted to finding a
women who would fill this need, but not in a sexual way. But
always backed away from that. Feeling af if I was doing
something wrong in looking beyond my own front door. It can be a
dangerous thing to venture out to people you know nothing about.
I am Christian as well, and do not wish to fulfill any sexual
agenda's from another party. My spanking need is not a fetish
nor a sexual one at all. So I just go on with my need
unfulfilled. But now that I have found this website, perhaps if
the love of my life reads it he will finally understand what I
am wanting from my need for spanking in my life. But anyway
that's my story in a nutshell.
My Aunt Died. I was so sad and after returning home from the
funeral I was a mess. I went straight to my Mistress' Home and I
knew that she would know what I needed. Even without telling
her. She always knows these things even before I do. She gently
put me over her knee and spanked me hard. When I broke...I cried
for about an hour. It was just what I needed. She held me and I
don't think I have ever felt so loved after that.
I never really had parents who cared about where i was or what i
was doing until my freshman year of high school. A senior who i
had gotten close to caught me skipping and doing things i should
not have been doing so one day he asked me if i would go home
with him which i did and he told me how i had messed up and how
upset he was. He laid me over his bed took off his belt and
began to spank me. However i did squirm and fight a lot after
that i felt much better like i was loved and cared for. He is
still my daddy and when i mess up and i get spanked it makes me
feel like a little child again and makes me feel better. Its
like it fills and emotional need as well and makes me feel like
no matter what he loves me and cares for me. I don't think ill
ever not need my daddy he helps me so much and i thank god for
My name is Britney and I am 26 years old. I did not realize that
I enjoyed being spanked until my wedding night. My new husband
playfully took me over his knee and spanked me. I discovered
that I enjoyed it and wanted more. That was two years ago and my
husband regularly spanks me now. Sometimes he spanks me with his
hand and sometimes with a small wooden paddle. Being spanked has
revolutionized my passion. When my husband spanks me, it makes
me feel so sexy.
Spanking have impacted my life in a good way during childhood.
Now, as an adult I continue to love being spanked for correction
so that i can continue to behave like an adult. Ever since
childhood I was always spanked with a small strap or a belt, and
I can tell you I didn't like it or enjoy it. I know that because
they were all discipline or punishment spankings, and it was not
meant for fun or foreplay. But ever since childhood I've always
wanted to experience different implements as such as the paddle.
But as a child I was always afraid of the paddle. Especially if
it was a big thick heavy one. But I don't mind thin small
lightweight paddles but big ones I try to run away from..lol
Now, in school I was spanked with a small lightweight ping pong
paddle, and it wasn't really all that bad. I only experienced
receiving one lick with it on my bottom, and honestly I really
And from then on that made me realize that I wanted to
experience other different kinds and sizes of paddles. Now being
paddled at home that never happened. I've always wished that it
did though. Especially by my grandmother. Oh, I've always
thought and known her and a straighter paddler. Because, I saw
her owning 3 lightweight paddles on the top of her closet in her
house that she was living in when I was born.
I was like, "Wow, those 3 paddles looked earie and scary to me.
I've always said to myself, "Whenever I'm around grandma I'd
better be on my best behavior. Or, I'll be getting the paddle or
the small strap from her." But from what I've heard from a
couple of my male cousins told me and another one of my male
cousins saying that one day they acted up at her house, and she
pulled out all of her spanking paddles, and she paddled them
both once with 3 light swats on their buttocks, and they told
another one of our male cousins that it didn't even hurt. She
didn't hurt us at all.
And her come one year as I once lived with her when I was at the
age of 13 or 14 she still owned one of those small thin
lightweight paddles. Was still earie-lookng to me...lol So, I
still made sure at the age of 13 and 14 to be on my best
behavior with her. Or else that I would be probably experience
getting the paddle by her very regularly. But I honestly
nowadays I honestly don't think that she would have caused me
any pain as a kid. She might have paddled me with more licks or
swats but it probably wouldn't have been all that bad. I
probably could have taken it.
My male cousin that I was also living at the time tried
explaining to me and telling me that, "If she had ever paddled
me it wouldn't have hurt me." "Or, she wouldn't have paddled me
in a sense of hurting me." I honestly think that what my male
cousin was trying to tell me that she might paddled me very
gently in form or of a way of me liking the spanking or
paddling. I also honestly think that he wanted to experience or
feel the paddle as well by her. But he also knew that paddles do
hurt, and I also always knew that as well. But nowadays as an
adult I always fantasize of her being my partner of spanking me
with the paddle. I really truly want to feel the paddle.
Well, this my story of spanking, and how it has impacted my