< Go Back >

Main Menu:

 Home Page
 Spanking Needs explained
 How to get what you need!
 For those asked to give!
 Spanking Therapy?
 Spanking Techniques
 In The News
 Message Board
 Submit Your Story
 Contact Us

"I've been asked to spank someone!"

     First, I congratulate you on your willingness to explore the idea of spanking needs by seeking out this site. The fact that you are here means you are at least considering providing the important service you've been asked to give!

     You need to understand that while needing to be spanked may not be a commonly expressed idea, it is not abnormal or weird. Many people feel like they need more discipline in their lives, but most never have the guts to admit it to those they love.

     Here is the collective advice of many people who live with this need on how you should handle this situation:

Learn More:

      No matter how much or little you have discussed this topic, sit down again and make sure you ask all your questions and get the answers you need to fully understand this need. 

Common questions you need to know the answers to:

  • Why do you feel you need to be spanked?

  • How do you think this will benefit you?

  • Do you have any ideas on how you need to be spanked? How hard, with what, etc?

  • Are there behaviors that you feel you need to work on that you want help in achieving?

  • Do you want to be spanked for rule breaking, or do you need regular discipline (spanking therapy) or both?

Agree on the Rules:

     Discipline and punishment may not be areas where you are familiar with bargaining and negotiation, but we aren't talking about a normal spanking, are we? This is what many have called "cooperative discipline" where the person needing to be punished understand that he or she needs it. 

     A set of rules should be clearly defined and the consequences for breaking them should be known in advance. By agreeing to the rules and punishments the spankee plays a greater part in defining their own behavior needs and will be better prepared to accept your guidance, and the spankings they earn. 

Give an example:

     Once the rules are agreed on, a moderate spanking should be given. That is, not the lightest spanking they may get for a mild infraction, but not the hardest spanking they would get for a severe rule-break.

    The purpose of this is two-fold: First, and probably obvious, the spankee needs to know just what the spankings they have asked for feel like. This way they know what they are trying to avoid by behaving. Secondly, by giving a moderate spanking, and making it clear that this isn't the hardest you can spank, it serves as a warning against committing more serious crimes that would end up in a spanking more severe than the one they have experienced.

Follow Through:

     From that point on it is all about follow-through. Needing strict guidance is a big part of the spanking needs we discuss here. When the rules are set, be sure they are stuck to, and if they are broken be sure to immediately give the appropriate spanking. (Immediate when appropriate, it may be necessary to wait until you return home or company leaves, but the spanking should be given as soon as possible with the reason for it made clear.)

Spanking Therapy:

     If the spankee has expressed a need for regular spankings as opposed to rule-based discipline, please see our section on Spanking Therapy.


We welcome others who understand to share their thoughts and we'll update these pages with all relevant information me receive: Contact Us